 |
| Also known as "thank god these bitches are horny for fresh produce" Don't actually watch this, please. |
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Howdy, Farmhands!
I'm a big fan of the Isekai genre, warts and all. For both the Protagonist, and the Audience, it's a chance to bumble upon facets of a world that's wild and new, while said facet is already comfortably set in it's place in the world. A good Isekai considers the ramifications of it's fantastic differences between itself and what we consider "normal", and an even BETTER Isekai takes those ramifications and makes them interesting problems for the hero to solve. There's not a lot of Good Isekai, to be clear.
This comparison, the fantastical and the mundane, is something that can be deployed on your ttrpg players too! If you give them an Apple, they'll toss it in their pack as a ration. Give them an Apple that Tastes like a Hamburger, suddenly it's a memorable quirk of the campaign. It's a puzzle without actually being a puzzle - What could be done with this thing that's so familiar and yet so different? Enterprising parties will get creative, which might derail the game for a Fruit-based WcDonalds chain OR just convince them to finally engage with the cooking rules you've been pushing.
Additional Reading -
- GrinningRat's "Dungeon Food"
- Prismatic Wasteland's "Cooking Minigame"
- Throne of Salt's "Unified Food Theory"
Until Next Time,
Farmer Gadda
| d50 | This looks like... | -except it's... | -and it's served... |
|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | Cantaloupe | Grows as large as a house |
Fried in Butter |
| 2 | Apple | an Odd color (1d4: Red, Yellow, Orange, Pink) |
Basted and Grilled |
| 3 | Pear | an Odd color (1d4: Blue, Purple, Green, Teal) |
Baked as a Casserole |
| 4 | Peach | Covered in Fuzz |
Baked as a Pie |
| 5 | Yam | Covered in wood-like Bark |
Boiled Whole |
| 6 | Pineapple | Covered in a Stone-like Shell |
Roasted with Meat |
| 7 | Kiwi | Oblong Shaped |
atop Pasta |
| 8 | Lemon | Cube Shaped |
Breaded and Fried in Oil |
| 9 | Cucumber | Grows tiny as a berry |
Boiled and Mashed |
| 10 | Butternut Squash |
Odd Markings (1d4: Striped, Spotted, Mottled, Iridescent) |
Stuffed and Baked |
| 11 | Carrot | Odd Markings (1d4: Spikes, Pockmarks, Lumps, Cracks) |
Chilled |
| 12 | Cauliflower | Triangle Shaped |
in a Smoothie |
| 13 | Parsnip | Covered in Pollen |
as a Garnish for Drinks |
| 14 | Corn | got a Dry Texture |
Mixed with sugar and water as a popular Summer Drink |
| 15 | Tomato | got a Juicy Texture |
as Popsicles |
| 16 | Artichoke | Gourd Shaped |
as Barbeque |
| 17 | Radish | got a Crisp flavor |
in a Stew |
| 18 | Rhubarb | Got a Minty flavor |
as Stock for Soup |
| 19 | Garlic | got a Creamy Texture |
mixed with Crushed Ice |
| 20 | Potato | Got a Chewy Texture |
Frozen into sheets of Bark |
| 21 | Rice | got a Sweet flavor |
Sliced and on Sandwiches |
| 22 | Wheat | got a Smoky flavor |
as is, just bite into it! |
| 23 | Barley | Got a Tangy flavor |
Cubed and paired with Cheese |
| 24 | Pumpkin | got a Sour flavor |
Grated as a Seasoning |
| 25 | Tea Leaves |
got a Bitter flavor |
in Aged Cheeses |
| 26 | Cherry | tastes just like (roll again on Previous Column) |
Julienne'd |
| 27 | Avocado | got a Gelatinous texture |
Chopped into Sticks and dipped in sauce |
| 28 | Apricot | got a Meaty texture |
Thickened into a Condiment |
| 29 | Banana | got a Crunchy texture |
Covered in Cheese and Broiled |
| 30 | Beet | got a Soft texture |
Pickled, sometimes as a relish |
| 31 | Strawberry | Root-Legged (Attempts to run away when Harvested) |
Canned in Sweet Syrup |
| 32 | Blueberry | Camouflaged (Blends in with it's natural surroundings) |
Dried into Jerky |
| 33 | Cranberry | Shrieking (Harvesting it causes an ear-splitting noise to erupt) |
Smoked over a Fire |
| 34 | Blackberry | Poisonous (Improper handling will make you sick) |
Frozen and cut into Cubes |
| 35 | Grape | Cursed (Spiritual energy latches onto improper harvesters, sapping their strength) |
Heavily Salted |
| 36 | Watermelon | Singing (Emulates a gentle song) |
Sundried into Crisps |
| 37 | Mango | Violent (Includes teeth or claws and will fight back) |
Fermented into Alcohol |
| 38 | Orange | Domesticated (Mimics the behaviors and mannerisms of a Pet Cat) |
as a Jelly |
| 39 | Plum | Mocking (Repeats noises it's heard) |
as a Jam |
| 40 | Coffee Bean |
Flying (Delayed harvesting results in the crop flying south for the winter) |
ground into a Flour |
| 41 | Tulip |
Only Grows in the light of a Full Moon |
as an Extract |
| 42 | Sunflower | Only Grows within Deep Caves |
Boiled into a Paste |
| 43 | Rose | Grows submerged in Water |
Thrice Baked into dense Cubes |
| 44 | Daffodil | Grows on a Trellis |
Stretched like Taffy |
| 45 | Dandelion | Grows buried in the Ground |
Whipped like Cream |
| 46 | Ginger | Grows on the branches of a Tree |
Mashed into a Sauce |
| 47 | Coconut | Grows on a tall Stalk |
Pressed to extract it's Juice |
| 48 | Mushroom | Grows in spreading Vines |
Crushed into a Powder |
| 49 | Jalapeno | Grows around Decay and Rot4 |
Chopped into a Salad |
| 50 | Leek | Only Grows on a Leyline |
Used as a Garnish |
