What That Dog Doin'?

 

Pictured: The Goodest Girl

Howdy, Farmhands.

    I've got a new dog. A foster dog, to be precise. My Beautiful Wife (and I by extension) volunteers with a local rescue, specializing in Dachshunds. We've helped a couple of puppers find new homes, and acted as a weekend get-away for new arrivals who weren't sure where they were going just yet. This current baby looks like she'll be staying with us for a hot minute, though, as not only were we the first point of contact for the previous owner, we were the Fosters of choice while she went through some surgeries to remove calcium deposits that had formed in her bladder before she joined us on the farm. 

    Her name is Wendy, and she is a precious angel. People of earth, send your love to Wendy.

    Having a Dog makes you think things you might not otherwise. For example, frequently now, I will find myself asking "What That Dog Doin'?" This requires I visually confirm the current activity of the dog and as a bonus, look at said dog. And I've already established that Wendy is a Very Good Dog, so that's hardly an inconvenience. Not all Dogs have to be dogs, though. It would probably be funnier to attribute Dog-status to things that are not Dogs. Like Bears. Deer, maybe. Particularly scraggly Opossums.  Legally Distinct Ankhegs, whatever those are. Below is a d20 table of vague Dog-like behaviors that a "Dog" may be "Doin'" at any given point in time.

    Now if you excuse me, Wendy has flopped over for a belly rub, and I cannot keep her waiting for fear that my mortal soul will be judged accordingly.

Until Next Time,

    Farmer Gadda

A Radical Stash of 1d20 Mondo Cool Items for OSR - Party like it's 199X

You will never be Him. - Reddit

This post and others like it are made possible by members of my Patreon, where you can see Game WIPs and Previews of future blogposts a week early! Thank you in particular to Aleph for your continued support!

d50 Fantasy Crop Table

 

Also known as "thank god these bitches are horny for fresh produce"
Don't actually watch this, please.

This post and others like it are made possible by members of my Patreon, where you can see Game WIPs and Previews of future blogposts a week early! Thank you in particular to WonderWalleye for your continued support!

Howdy, Farmhands!

    I'm a big fan of the Isekai genre, warts and all. For both the Protagonist, and the Audience, it's a chance to bumble upon facets of a world that's wild and new, while said facet is already comfortably set in it's place in the world. A good Isekai considers the ramifications of it's fantastic differences between itself and what we consider "normal", and an even BETTER Isekai takes those ramifications and makes them interesting problems for the hero to solve. There's not a lot of Good Isekai, to be clear.

    This comparison, the fantastical and the mundane, is something that can be deployed on your ttrpg players too! If you give them an Apple, they'll toss it in their pack as a ration. Give them an Apple that Tastes like a Hamburger, suddenly it's a memorable quirk of the campaign. It's a puzzle without actually being a puzzle - What could be done with this thing that's so familiar and yet so different? Enterprising parties will get creative, which might derail the game for a Fruit-based WcDonalds chain OR just convince them to finally engage with the cooking rules you've been pushing.

    Additional Reading -

• GrinningRat's "Dungeon Food"
• Prismatic Wasteland's "Cooking Minigame" 
• Throne of Salt's "Unified Food Theory"  
  

    Until Next Time,

        Farmer Gadda

Fish of the Nether - for the Nether Depthcrawl

Fish want me, I fear Women, something along those lines

     The following is an adaptation of an existing Minecraft Mod, "Nether Depths Upgrade". For the sake of this project, some details have been omitted or changed, and this write-up does not reflect the functionality or design goals of the original mod. Permission to use these concepts has been acquired from the Author, though no assets or code may be reused. Please support the artists and coders by giving the original mod a try the next time you play Minecraft.

Also, this Post was partly written as a thank you for a generous monetary donation that arrived during a moment of need! The Farmhand requested that in lieu of a bespoke post, that I put the energy into completing a fun draft! 

Thank you so much for your support, Suzy!

Howdy, Farmhands!

    You wanna go... fishing in the Nether? I mean, you could, with a Rod and Line capable of handling the heat. And despite the Nether oceans being filled with Lava, a number of fish-like creatures seem to thrive there. So sure, cast that line, see what you reel in!

 

    As I'm sure your system of choice already has a fishing minigame to use, I'm not going to offer any mechanics or procedures here. Just a simple d10 table, and data on what's swimming about down there. If I were to give you Advice, however, I'd suggest using a d6 instead of a flat d10, and have the quality of the Rod and Bait add bonuses to aim for the more valuable and larger fish on the tail end of that table. Whatever you choose, I hope you have a fun and relaxing time, taking a fishing trip in Hell.

Until Next Time,

    Farmer Gadda