The SANIC Hack: Part 3 - Blessed be the Hog

3 of God's Specialist Little Babies (non-derogatory)
-IDW Sonic the Hedgehog #4, Evan Stanley

 

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Howdy, Farmhands.

    I've had exactly One interaction with Evan Stanley on social media. She briefly marred me with the horrific possibilities of 'Acoustic Eurobeat.' Anyway, tl;dr: Gadda gives Feats and Titles a fancy new name.

    In an effort to differentiate Fantastic Furries from their less magical counterparts, I'm putting together a short list of options to be taken during Character Creation. I considered having separate combinations be available depending on what KIND of furry you're using, but frankly, that's boring. I'd much rather someone try to explain to me how their Fox OC has the power of flight, (he has, uh... two tails? And they spin like helicopter blades?) than limit their choices just because it doesn't match what -I- imagine they SHOULD do. Non-furry PCs, should they be included in the final product, will be differentiated by their lack of a Blessing at Creation, though that doesn't prevent them from acquiring one during play if the adventures lead them to one.

    Blessings are not meant to be something earned through training, but rather, something that is conferred upon a PC by another. Suitably powerful individuals may grant a magical ability to someone who's done them a favor, sleeping next to radioactive meteors might mean you wake up with Force Powers, stuff like that. The current plan is that these will work more like micro-mechanics instead of a simple +1 to a stat. Every player will roll the same dice and follow the same rules, but a Blessing will include a unique or variant rule for that player specifically. I'm not particularly interested in balancing them perfectly, either.  

    Unlike some games with page upon pages of Feats, these are meant to be a one time choice to color your focus for the rest of the game, OR a special extra something given to a character to shake up their experience. Scaling abilities or Blessings that become stronger over time feels like too much of a stretch from the diegetic advancement found in the game I'm starting from, here.

I'm also Very Open to opinions on any of the following, please feel free to comment on your social media of choice, I love interacting with my audience.

The SANIC Hack: Part 2 - Problem Solving

 

The Band (pictured here getting back together)
- IDW Sonic the Hedgehog #9, Tracey Yardley & Matt Herms

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Howdy, Farmhands.    

     For all my big talk in the Previous Post in this series, I actually do have quite a lot of work to do. How do I take the high-risk, high reward, low numbers problem solving of an OSR game like Cairn and fulfill the aesthetic promise of the colorful, cartoony butt-rock action of Sonic the Hedgehog? 

    Here's my first few swings.

Part 1: Death Fail-safes (maybe)

    I spent the better part of a 2-hour Minecraft Livestream talking about Violence in TTRPGS and how Gary Gygax was an Insurance Actuary. Sonic came up at some point. That's the only segue I got. Here's my plan A to soften things in Cairn:

    "Unless specifically stated to be With Intent To Kill, any attack that lowers an NPC combatant to 0 HP triggers a Morale Roll instead of a Death Save. A Failed save removes the Combatant from the fight, be it through fleeing, surrender, or petrification from fear. A Successful Save means they're willing to fight to the death, any further damage affects STR and Death Saves as normal. 

    Alternatively, a PC attacking an NPC with Zero HP should be able to simply knock them out with the butt of their sword if they really don't want blood on their hands."  - Me, on Twitter, sometime last week

    Ok. Good. We can work with this. The problem isn't solved, this is just a start. But what am I actually DOING with this? There's a layer there to act as a buffer, to let the players really think about if this is the result they want to pursue. And if they decide that yes, Murder IS the play here, what has this rule change done to positively affect the experience? I've basically just halted the flow of combat for one final "Are you SUUUUUURE?" dialogue prompt. 

    I can do better than this.

Part 2: I Do Better Than That

    A more drastic change would be to go by Pokemon Rules, so we can have our violence and still be safe for kids('s parents). Instead of Death, the fail states of Combat are "Down", followed by "Out."   

    Reaching Zero HP puts you Down, you're wheezing and looking rough. For NPCs, this is when the Morale roll happens to decide if they Flee or stay to take a stand. For PCs, they may choose to Move OR take an Action each round but not both. Any further Damage affects their STR score and they must make Death Saves as normal, or be Out. And "Out" is just. Fainted. They're not dead, but they're an unconscious or otherwise indisposed lump on the floor. They may not rejoin Combat. In Cairn terms, they're present but Deprived. Retreating when Downed is basically choosing to be Out, knowing you'll be able to recover HP as usual after the dust settles. But, because I love Mario & Luigi RPG, Downed PCs can stay in the fight by being Carried.  

    A PC may Carry a Downed PC if they have (let's just pick a number for right now.) 5 Inventory Slots free. A Carried PC regains 1 HP per Round they are Carried, up to their Max. However, the PC doing the Carrying rolls attack rolls as if Impaired.  

    Although, thinking about it, if Carrying a Downed PC costs 5 Inventory Slots, a PC COULD theoretically carry 2 of their allies, but only after 1. Dropping all their Stuff and 2. Accepting that it's going to push them to 0 HP until both of them get the fuck off their shoulders. If the Carrying PC takes fatigue that encroaches into that 5 slot allowance, they're unable to Carry the Downed PC any longer and they are forced to rejoin the combat with whatever HP they have. Course, then they're no longer Down so it's probably fine.  

    "Doesn't this mean it's much harder for the players to ever seriously experience danger?" yes, but it creates a few more layers of player choice before you reach the "you don't get to roll any more" stage with those blorbos. It also introduces the possibility of PCs focusing on assisting and healing their party, without needing a specific class or set of combat abilities to do so. 

Part 3: Advancement

    Sonic the Hedgehog is a Videoed Game. So I think... I think I want to purposefully include some Videoed Gamery into this. It'll be fun, I promise.

    Recently, I read Gno Mann's premiere blog post, a response to a currently 5 year old blog post by Luke Gearing on the topic of Experience Points and Incentives in Game design. I think both are worth a read. Gearing's post has been bandied about as something of a divine text, and Gno's belated response pokes a ton of holes in it. I'm not about to throw my hat into the ring between them, but reading both blogs gave me a great number of thoughts about traditional leveling up systems and how they can be used in ways to manipulate the player (non-derogatory) and manipulate the player (derogatory.)

Cairn's Scar table. It's very good.

    Cairn's only systematic method of advancement is in its Scars table; when a PC is knocked down to exactly 0 hit points, their body is marred by the experience, giving them a boost to their HP, and leaving them with a visual reminder of the time they got said HP boost. This is actually REALLY great, but doesn't fit the vibe I want with this Sanic game. All other advancement in Cairn is diegetic; finding new weapons and armor, kitting yourself out with Relics you've collected on your adventures, and simply surviving with the gold needed to sleep at an inn are all the game as written is concerned about.

    My first swing at an alternative is a system I'm calling "SCORE." Similar to the Arcade Classics of the 80's, Score is a running tally of all the cool shit you've done, with the goal being to reach the end of the level with as much of it as possible. Unlike vintage videoed games, (and yes, they're considered VINTAGE now. Late 90's LEGO are Vintage. Hell, Mid-2000's LEGO are Vintage. I hate it.), Score is not a measure of skill, but a reward for completing a Task listed on a long list of possible Achievements. Deciding which Achievement to accept at the end of any given session or adventure would work great as a cool-down activity, I think. Everyone pulls up the list, compares it to the adventure they JUST played, and decide which on to mark off. Simple Achievements, such as "Start a Fight and Win," would be worth a small amount of Score, but be able to be taken multiple times. Eventually, the small fry 'Chieves will dry up, requiring Players to seriously consider some longer term goals to gain more of the resource.

     And what would this resource do, you ask? Again, similar to the Achievements, small bonuses would cost smaller amounts of Score to purchase, packages of 100 Rings, for example, could be bought multiple times for a small amount of it. Bonuses to a Stat, a new Title or Feat, high-end game loot like vehicles and buildings, I don't know exactly what would be on there. The key would be making the Achievements be accessible without making them the main focus of the game. Diegetic growth is STILL the focus here- if a PC has already consumed enough Achievements that none of the simple ones are available anymore, they shouldn't feel as though their character did nothing worthwhile or didn't grow while they worked towards a bigger goal. 

Until Next Time,

    -Farmer Gadda 

The SANIC Hack: Part 1 - Introduction

Cover A for IDW's "Sonic the Hedgehog 2019 Annual", by Yuji Uekawa

 

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Howdy, Farmhands.

    As I am wont to do, I have decided to start Another TTRPG project. It's really just the 20th restart of my eternally unfinished heartbreaker, which started out as a Lasers & Feelings Hack with Opinions and hasn't ended up as anything after, like, 3 years. Surely this will be the time I make it stick haha. You're free to completely ignore these posts if you like, I won't blame you.

    Anyway.

    The fact of the matter is that I wish to put a Sanic in Cairn, and none of you have any authority nor power to stop me. But before I do, a couple of points must be made. Firstly, what do I think a Cairn is? And secondly, what the fuck is a Sanic?

    Part 1: Cairn?

    If you've already read Cairn you can skip this.  

    Cairn is a TTRPG, written by Yochai Gal. It's an "Adventure Game," with a narrow focus on producing Old-School fantasy experiences with snappy combat, a limited inventory, and little else. It's basically a freshly shaved Into the Odd. Maybe. I haven't actually read Into the Odd. From an evolutionary standpoint, I'm led to understand Cairn is like Mausritter, scaled back even further, but with the flavor and genre expectations of someone playing Knave. I would need to actually read more than one of the aforementioned titles to say for sure, though.

    (It's probably more than a little bit of a misnomer to state I'm hacking Cairn specifically; it's just my first dip into this school of design. Maybe "Putting a Sanic in an Odd-like" would be a more accurate blog title? Eh.)

    Per Cairn's own words, the design focus is on collecting and maintaining Equipment over Class abilities, a Neutral GM that hands out information like candy so Players can make informed choices, the consequences of which could very easily lead to death, but never in a way that feels unfair. The mechanical choices that most enamor this game to me is how it handles rolling dice, HP, and Inventory management.

    Similar to Into the Odd, and other games it's inspired, all dice are rolled in REACTION to something in the fiction. Players can declare their characters do anything, really, and so long as that action has no obvious Risk to it's going awry, the game isn't interested in withholding permission from them. All rolls are effectively Saves from a known, possible negative outcome, instead of a game of Mother, May I with the dice. 

    HP, not content to let Stats be the only thing blowing my mind, is also subverted from what I expected. Instead of a general measure of how much more meat a character can lose before they kick the bucket, HP or "Hit Protection", is instead more of a timer. Attacks auto-hit in Cairn, with Damage subtracting from a character's Hit Protection as they get closer and closer to the hit that sends them down. Once an attack lowers HP to Zero, any remaining damage is absorbed by the Character's Strength Stat, triggering an immediate Save using the new Stat number. A failed save means they're down. This, coupled with the fact that HP can be restored with a short rest, but changes to the Strength Stat requires longer recuperation, creates an interesting scenario where Characters are quickly able to continue on, but still suffer lasting effects of losing a fight, should they survive it in the first place.

    Lastly, I'll talk about the Inventory system, which is just. Neat. Who came up with this first, ItO or Mausritter? PCs have 10 slots, with most items fitting in a single Slot unless labeled as "Bulky," which takes up 2. Already, the concern of balancing keeping weapons and armor on your person while still having space for cool stuff you find in dungeons is apparent, but Fatigue, a debuff that can be acquired from lack of food and sleep, backlash from magic, or just as punishment for bad decisions during the adventure, takes up a slot of your inventory. This effectively removes an entire inventory slot from play until the fatigue can be cleared. Get fatigue while all your slots are full? You have to drop something. Carrying more objects than you have slots? Your HP is automatically considered to be an 0, with any harm done to you going directly into Strength. 

    To summarize a bit, Cairn is a very tight, OSR inspired ruleset that cuts away a lot of the fat of other games in it's genre, while subverting some key expectations in service of it's snappy gameplay. Now, we must ask-

    Part 2: What is a SANIC? 

     Sonic the Hedgehog is a video game mascot produced by SEGA in the early 90's. Due to being designed to sell products, his scruples and identifying traits have shifted drastically from era to era, with fans having wildly different interpretations of the character even within the same close-knit group of friends. The broad strokes, at least the ones relevant to this blog post, is that he is an acrobatic cartoon character that travels to colorful and magical locations, getting into scuffles with antagonistic individuals not out of a sense of public service, but because he's in the right place at the right time to do so. Freedom, Movement, and Speed are key to what Sonic is as a character.

    A SANIC, by comparison, is a character that must exist in the same time and place as Sonic himself. As a video game mascot, Sonic exists in a world tailor made to take his defining traits and display them in an appealing fashion. The loops, tunnels, floating platforms and other nonsense geography only really works when you travel through them AS Sonic. His move set is ideal for zipping through the locations he travels to, not because those locations make sense, but because his video game must be fun to play. This causes some logistic issues when taking any character who wouldn't normally be able to do the things Sonic can and placing them into those scenarios. Even if we don't see any houses, someone must have considered a vacation home in Green Hills, after all. Sega has famously solved this issue for their own purposes by creating an increasing number of supernatural or exaggerated abilities and giving them to the characters Sonic interacts with-Flight, Super Strength, Wall-Climbing and so on. At this point, a Sanic is any magical Furry character with noodly enough arms and large enough feet; and I say that as a Positive. By introducing unique constraints from more Traditional Furry OC design mentalities, SANICS gain a unique flavor all their own, even in scenarios where Sonic himself isn't involved in the character's story.

    By this metric, I'd probably also consider Mario OCs a Sanic, but I'll fire that gun into a loaded theater some other blog.

    Part 3: Why Tho? 

    Again, The fact of the matter is that I wish to put a Sanic in Cairn. You don't need to understand me and my choices, nor do you need to respect them. This is the path I've chosen to follow; taking my most recent shiny toy and holding it next to my longest hyperfixation that they may kiss.

    Something that's enamored me to the description of Adventure Games that Ben posited in the blog post wherein it was Coined is line two - "It implies strangeness, travel, the unexpected, and the confusing." Not that other game styles can't have that, rather, that this desire to go places and see things in a world that's full of weird shit, coupled with the purposefully snappy dice resolution, refilling HP, and inventory management, immediately makes me think this would be the ideal place to start on a SANIC game. Freedom, Movement, and Speed. No asking permission to Do, just chances to fail if you push the risk too far. This is the comparison that has sparked this project. God help me.

    Here is where I'm going to have to do some work. First, because the rules I'm starting from are so tight and bare-boned (/pos), any change I make will have massive rippling effects throughout. I can't just increase Armor without drastically changing how combat feels, for example. Tweaks must be made, though, as the threat of character death is something I want to slightly tone down. Not only that, but in a game with no existing advancement mechanics (except the Scars table, which doesn't feel quite right for the vibe I'm trying to emulate), how do I get a player from page 1 to a fully realized magic furry OC before the session starts?

    The short of it is, I don't fucking know. Thats why I'm blogging about it.

Until next time,

    Farmer Gadda

Play Report: Yo-ho - Ballad of Barracuda Rock

This is Seadramon from Digimon, and has
nothing to do with anything else in this blogpost.

 Howdy, Farmhands.

    Almost one year ago, I ran a session of a ttrpg, using homebrew rules I was working on for my eternally unfinished fantasy heartbreaker. The session went SO WELL, that I almost immediately put the experience to paper in the form of a twitter thread. The story that unfolded at my table (granted it was over discord but whatever) was such a fun one, that I've decided to repost it here for better documenting. 

 

Step 0: Setup 

"Yo-Ho" is a sea-faring adventure game I ran for 3 players, an excuse to playtest my frequently renamed TTRPG which is just a Lasers & Feelings hack that got uppity. Don't worry about it.

    Player A is playing their take on Haku from Spirited Away, a Dragon spirit that collects favors (and people?) instead of treasure. The Role they chose includes an inventory item called "A piece of Loot from their last haul." A decided that said loot should in fact be their ship, carved into the Visage of a dragon, and with a mind of its own. Wind Waker vibes but less chatty. The silver bangle around Haku's wrist acted as a connection point between him and their ship, also in the shape of a dragon. That's neat. I've played with and run for A before, so I know front loading cool shit is the best way to keep them engaged- they never try to abuse the extra power and this isn't a game where balance is an issue so sure, I'm down. Sentient ship and big ass dragon form, ok.

    Player B brought over their self-insert OC from another project that didn't go anywhere, but converted to fit the loose setting. In this game, they're a Rubberwho, a bouncy, springy, stretchy lifeform made out of rubber. Think Pacman if he ate the Gum-Gum fruit. Astro, as B renamed them, is a shit-talking Ring fighter who has it out for "The Man." (Who the man is has been intentionally left vague by B for maximum comedic usage) and they're just here to fight authority wherever they find it. Due to availability, B didn't get to do much this session, but they've confirmed they're happy with this first adventure and will develop Astro further with future sessions so that's good.

    Player C brought over their Sonic OC, Slate, an Echidna trying to find their place in the world with little to no idea of where to look for clues to their lost culture. This is where it gets interesting, because C is young and inexperienced as a ttrpg player. They're not sure what to expect and I don't yet know how to cater to their playstyle. I love new players so much.

 

Step 1: Get to Barracuda Rock

    All 3 became crew in the backstory, allowing us to jump into the adventure proper right away. The trio were delivering construction materials at the request of the Mayor of Namov ("Name-Of") Island (because I couldn't come up with one on the fly you see), a request with few details and a lot of rush implied. Bit shifty, but Haku feels they can wheedle a stronger favor out of the Mayor if his negligence makes the trip difficult. A horde of flying fish bother Slate as he attempts to swab the poop deck, but mostly the trip is smooth sailing. At least until they reach the titular Barracuda Rock.

    The name is a smidge of a misnomer, as it's technically a whole island surrounding a massive natural rock that looks vaguely like a Barracuda. Think Pride Rock but fishier. The flying fish disappear all of a sudden, which is probably fine. Nothing to see here.

    (Unbeknownst to the PCs, but conveyed to the players, somethibg much larger has begun to follow the ship from under the waves. I love doing this- giving the players scenes like in a film that shares hints of where the adventure is going to go, and letting them play out being blissfully unaware until the inevitable reveal)

    The island has three avenues of approach; sand bars to the south-east, rocky spikes to the north, and to the west, directly in line with the "face" of Barracuda Rock, an inlet that looks to be the safest. The crew choose the path of least resistance and sail for the inlet. Before entering the waters, Haku, a river spirit himself, attempts to communicate with the river, should it have an identity to talk to. It's only fair to greet it before sailing on in. What he gets in response is a burst of anger which is the only warning before a massive sea serpent, also with the head of a Barracuda, rises from the water and defensively roars at the crew. Boss battle music plays, and the stage is set for the crew to fight this clear threat.

    Except they don't, actually, the crew says "well I guess that's his inlet, sorry sir we'll be on our way" and they keep sailing around the island looking for another landing point. Barry the Barracudra follows, threateningly, but does nothing else. Seems landing in that inlet specifically is his no-go and the crew choose to respect it. Slate blows Barry a kiss which works because dice, and the Barracudra disappears beneath the waves. For now.

 

Step 2: Make a Plan

    What follows is about 30 minutes of the players repeating their options, asking questions, and revealing how little Gadda actually knows about sailing. Player B reveals themselves to have been a Navy Brat which means I SHOULD HAVE STUDIED MORE. Conveniently, the adventure specifically required that night to be the night of the full moon, and after a TED talk about how the Tides work, the plan was set. Once the tide was high, the ship would make a run for it over the south-east portion of the island and hopefully make it to the beach before Barry. And they just do it. I drew it out with some suspense because they didn't know where the sea serpent was but they literally just make landfall lmao. Astro gets pingponged around the ship from the impact but that's about it.

    As the full moon on the sky travels closer and closer to its highest point, the crew follow a glimmer of light in the forest to search for the inhabitants they're meant to deliver to. This is where some player side issues came in, as players were pulled away, I had to give my wife a kiss, you know how it is, but haltingly, the crew find a clearing with the cinders of a bonfire in the center. Slate uses his fire powers (he has those I forgot to mention) to try and coax it back to life, just because it's helpful and he can. (Feeling the urge to help others for no immediate gain will be a recurring trend for this character apparently. We'll come back to that.)

    The additional light allows Captain Haku to notice glimmers of reflected light along the branches of the trees surrounding the clearing, guiding his attention up to the tree houses above, covered in reflective material with windows barred. And the full moon reaching its highest. Luckily he calls Slate back outside the clearing, just in time for the light of the Moon to be reflected by these thousands of carefully angled shards, which combine the moonlight into a fucking laser that rips through the clearing, reigniting the communal bonfire in a massive burst of flame. The crew, eyebrows narrowly avoiding being singed, watch as the moon moves on, ending the light show and leaving a healthy bonfire in its wake. The doors of the tree houses fling open with cheers as the villagers scream "HAPPY FULL MOON!" They've arrived in time for a festival!

 

Step 3: Meet the Locals

    With other people to talk to, the crew spend some time on diplomacy and information gathering, learning everything I set out for them to learn in pretty much one go lmao. The Elder tells the story. Barry the Barracudra is normally a docile creature, acting as a protector of the Island and it's inhabitants. However, having fallen in love with the titular Barracuda Rock, he becomes increasingly defensive leading up to the Full Moon. The villagers Harvest and trade the crystalline material that naturally forms within the Rock for supplies they can't create themselves, and shipments are MEANT to be made when Barry is calm. The Mayor threw our crew under the bus to meet an agreed deadline.

 Haku will remember this.

    The festivities aren't done yet, as the villagers invite the crew to come watch the grand finale they call "The Lighting of The Fish." The villagers lead to the crew to a large viewing platform in a tree to the southwest, giving them a full view of the entire Barracuda Rock in its entirety, but also letting them see Barry periscopin out of that inlet he get upset about earlier, facing the rock.

(We named her Roxanne, btw.)

    As the full moon moved into another specific angle, it's light shone down into the mouth of Roxanne, reflecting off the countless crystal growths inside and creating something magical. The rippling light pouring out of this massive structure created an optical illusion, bringing the static rock to a semblance of life. Roxanne's light made her appear to swim in place, and both the villagers and Barry cheered to see her again. Slate tried asking questions about how it worked, to which the Elder replied with the thesis of the adventure;  

    "This world is filled with wonders that defy explanation. Sometimes, you simply have to let the magic take you where it will." 

     Player C digested this, then asked, "Hey DM, can I... try something?"

 

Step 4: Try Something

    I was called away temporarily (wife smooches) during which time the players capital C Conspired. Player C wanted Slate to get down to the base of Roxanne, which Player B had Astro help by distracting the Elder and other villagers. Once there, he said a few kind words to Roxanne, before letting the emotions of the star crossed lovers carry him into song.

    At which point Player C PULLED OUT A UKELELE AND AD-LIBBED A LOVE BALLAD ABOUT BARRY AND ROXANNE. IM STILL STUNNED. Slate, ever the romantic, could not do Nothing when faced with this scenario, and poured his heart into helping however he could. Player A, and thus, Haku, could not let this be the end. Despite this being session 1, and having accomplished none of the cool ideas floated with the concept, Player A willingly suggested sacrificing the bangle that gave their ship sentience, to allow Roxanne to come to life. And that's what they did.

    Haku raised his wrist and set the bangle free, the silver dragon flying through the air to latch onto Barry's tail. With a surge of magic, Roxanne's illusory form of light leapt off the rock and dove into the sea, and the pair swam away together.

Just. Wow.

    The session concluded with basic wrap-up, the next morning. Their delivery unloaded and their ship just a smidge less magical, the crew retook their places as they sailed back for Namov Island to chew out the Mayor. Back to scrubbing the deck, Slate was once again bullied by a flying fish. The swarm once again followed their ship as it sailed away, joined this time by the joyous pair of Barry and Roxanne, who leaped over the ship in a majestic arc as a thank you and goodbye. 

 

Final Step: Wrap-up

    The intention with the adventure as I set it up was to establish some core concepts about the setting and tone of the game. 

1. There's danger in the water (Barry)
2. Authority isn't to be trusted (The Mayor)
3. The islands are filled with wonder and magic (Roxanne)

    But somehow, the players took my introductory adventure to a completely new level, finding meaning in it on their own and following the strands that intrigued them in a way I didn't expect for a first session, and especially not from a brand new ttrpg player.

    And that's the Ballad of Barracuda Rock.

Until next time,

        Farmer Gadda

Farmer Gadda's Famous Buttercream

Cupcakes that I definitely didn't make, but I could have if I wanted to - Pixabay

 Howdy, Farmhands.

    I have had to explain to literally everyone who has ever eaten my cakes that no, they don't hate buttercream, they've just only eaten the store brand "frosting" that is 90% hydrogenated oil. Don't make me repeat myself for the nth time.

Please just consider the following;

Ingredients

    2 Sticks Unsalted Butter, Softened at Room Temperature (discerning tongues can add a dash of salt to taste if you're that picky)

    1 tsp Vanilla Extract

    2 Tbsp Milk (Almond works fine)

    4 cups Unsifted Powdered Sugar (Once measured, you can sift if you prefer)

Recipe

1. Place both sticks Butter in a large bowl, beat until creamy
2. Add 1 Tsp Vanilla and 1 Tbsp Milk, beat again
3. Add Powdered Sugar, half a cup at a time. Combine completely before adding another cup. Use all 4 cups of Powdered Sugar. Do not add more than a half cup before you turn on the mixer. Trust me on this.
4. If at any point the mixture becomes too thick to mix, add the remaining Tbsp Milk to moisten the mixture, then continue adding the Powdered Sugar.

For chocolate, replace 1/4th cup Powdered Sugar with 1/4th cup Cocoa Powder, mixing the dry ingredients together fully before adding them as in steps 3 and 4.

Replace the Vanilla Extract for the relevant flavored Extract when making Fruit Flavored frosting.

Until Next Time,

        Farmer Gadda

The Art of Fucking Up Your Branding

that's not my url anymore

  Howdy, Farmhands.

    I was supposed to be a Vtuber.

    Once upon a time, I would log onto social media with a single goal in mind. I had a Brand, you see. I had an Image. I had this concept lodged into my brain that the only person who would be able to successfully promote the Idea Of Farmer Gadda in a marketable and appealing way would be Me. This was back in the early days of Vtubing, the year 2020, when all the bells and whistles of Japan's Idol Culture were being lifted and repeated wholesale with no critical analysis of whether that mentality was at all healthy for the entertainers trapped in its systems. I was just a lone Farmer with a dream, and a step-by-step plan to make those dreams come true. 

• No Stories about my personal life. (even though I'd been a 'Fleshtuber' for two years, with a ton of personal information shared during those early baking streams)
• No Content outside my limited range of acceptable tones. (Farming Games were only fun for so long, and I was too much of a sonic autist to not immediately desire the hog)
• And no matter how much I believed in something and held it dear, absolutely No Hot Takes.

    This lasted about as long as you're imagining, by which I mean, not terribly long at all. Unlike ACTUAL Idols, I did not have a team of PR specialists and legal contracts to keep me from acting outside the parameters that would ensure only the best and consistent activity of my mind was blasted into the eyeballs of my prospective audience. No matter how strong I thought I was, I was just a man. A weak, fallible, opinionated little man. I was doomed to failure, really.

    From the minute I read the phrase, 'System Matters', I became embroiled in the Discourse of the day with a religious fervor. I had thoughts! I had distastes! I had OPINIONS. So many opinions! I had to start using third party software to contain my opinions, limit posting them to once daily to make sure my ACTUAL branded posts and messages got the air needed to be seen! My existing audience was confused and frightened, wondering where their sweet and loveable cake baking blorbo had gone, replaced by this passionate acolyte of the church of Math Rocks, evangelizing on the merits of Imaginary Elf Games. To anyone just finding me, primarily through said evangelizing, it was nothing more than a funny oddity that the Good-Take-Haver they'd found on Twitter also moonlit as a cartoon farmer-man who played a bit too much Minecraft in his spare time. And once I became privy to that portion of my followers having that opinion of me, I knew I'd fucked up. Farmer Gadda wasn't a brand associated with having a good time with cowbells and plants anymore. It was still that, but with something louder and utterly unrelated, inextricably tied into it's core identity.

    The problem with first impressions is that you only really get them once. Even if I had then and there cut down on TTRPG Poasting, reverted to the squeaky clean marketable image I'd arrived intending to push, the Poastings had been Poasted. I bemoaned this for a minute before something really weird started happening.

    As it turns out, Human beings are messy and multi-faceted. We're not MEANT to have our personalities put into little boxes to be experienced piecemeal. The Sonic Autist in me railing against the constraints of only making Farmy-Cottage Core experiences for my viewers? The passionate flames of Righteousness that burned in my soul whenever someone was wrong on the internet? Those were just as much a part of me as the positive facets I had tried to isolate and exaggerate as part of the Farmer Gadda Caricature. It wasn't for everyone, sure, but it was Me. And people somehow liked Me, warts and all. Even existing followers who didn't care one lick about Dice Math followed along. Some even took to the new style of Poasts with interest of their own, turning my personal journey into unmarketability into a GROUP journey into TTRPG Brainrot. Along the way my audience went from Just Minecraft Enjoyers and Just Cake Lovers to both of those things but also Sonic Fans, and Game Designers, fellow Vtubers and yes, Math Rock Opinion Havers.

    The Art to Fucking Up Your Branding is an ART, not a Science. There isn't a step by step process to replicate doing so smoothly, because the only step is to Be Messy. Be Human. Be everything of yourself at once, screaming your passions and desires into the void and listening to the people who heard you and decided to scream back. 

    I was supposed to be a Vtuber. But I think I'm much happier being an Experience.

Until Next Time,

        Farmer Gadda

Sporpsball

A Child Playing Sportsball, Probably. Idk I'm not his mom. - Pixabay

Howdy, Farmhands.

    Early 2021 was probably the most productive time for me as a Game Designer. Everything was new and shiny, and I hadn't yet learned what Not To Do in the spaces I was discovering for people interested in my newfound hobby. This meant that I was willing and able to yeet myself bodily into whatever struck my fancy, without the lived experience to understand the possibility of sending myself off a cliff.

    It was during this time period that I came up with the rules for Sporpsball.

    Heavily inspired by a moment in the og Interstitial: Our Hearts Entertwined Podcast campaign wherein a player used the fuckery that is the English Language to re-interpret the wording of a PBTA Move, I wanted a system agnostic experience where fucking with the language in the rules was The Point, and the following is what I came up with.

    SPORPSBALL, a Supplement for Whatever Game You're Playing. Yes, even That One.

1.  Every person at the table gets to write down a single sentence describing what they remember of an existing Sports game. The GM has to include a specific way to score in theirs. These sentences are collectively referred to as "The Rules."
   
   
2. A game of Sporpsball includes a number of additional participants on the field equal to the number of Player Characters participating in the Sport. If it's a team game, they're on the Other Team. There is also always a Large Audience cheering them teams on.
   
   
3. Unless explicitly prohibited by The Rules of Sporpsball, any stats, skills, feats, or other game mechanics the Player Characters normally have access to may be used to attempt to win the game.
   
   
4. Whenever a Player rolls the highest possible face value of a die, no matter what the roll was for in mechanics or fiction, they may adjust one of The Rules in one of the ways listed below. These adjustments must not result in a Rule being an incomplete sentence.
   
   • Replace 1 Letter of a word in the Rule
   • Add a word to the Rule
   • Swap the placement of two words within the Rule
   • Invert one word to a word of it's Opposite meaning
     
     
5. Should any one of The Rules ever have every word in it's sentence changed completely from it's initial form, that rule is sealed and cannot be altered further. The Player who created the rule must then create an additional rule.
   
   
6. Any Character who breaks one the rules, willingly or not, recieves a Foul. 3 Fouls, and they're ejected from the game.
   
   
7. At no point should ANY rule imply, infer, or otherwise suggest the inclusion or exclusion of a dog. There shall never be any rule that determines whether or not a Dog should be allowed to play Sporpsball. Attempting to do so will result in immediate forfeiture of the Sporp by the offending Player or Team.

Until Next Time,

        Farmer Gadda