Can't Miss Merchant Stalls

 

Howdy, Farmhands! 

    There's nothing quite like shopping in a TTRPG. Unburdened by the logistics of transporting goods or price fluctuations as the economy burns down around you, spending a session or downtime hitting the medieval fantasy mall is as much a power fantasy as casting a spell or punching a guy real good. Better bloggers than I have written at length about the mathematics and sociology of partaking in fictional capitalism, so I'm not even going to bother. Instead, I bring unto you a d20 table of details your players will notice when they approach the next merchant with wares to hock. Maybe the staff is unfriendly, and the goods on the shelf less than ideal, but goddamn if they won't remember their time spent here.

Until Next time,

    Farmer Gadda 

What's Neat About This Merchant Stall?
1	Wacky-Wavy Inflatable Tube Man
2	Sign Spinner, paid minimum wage
3	Textboard Feud with the business across the street
4	Fursuit Mascot offering Pictures
5	Gigantic Bronze effigy of a Beaver
6	Partnering with Kid Scout Cookies
7	Bright neon signage, mistaken for the moon
8	A large Bell that is rung every hour on the hour
9	Novelty Windmill
10	A Roadside Billboard
11	A full Brass Band
12	They're firing T-shirt Cannons at Passersby
13	They've hired an Aircraft to fly around with a banner saying "Shop At x"
14	Blinking Neon Lights
15	"Now with Indoor Plumbing!"
16	It's Happy Hour
17	Brand new Car in the Display Window
18	Offering Free Pony Rides
19	Buy 1, Get 2 Golfballs
20	Contract with the Mafia. You better not shop anywhere else.

This post and others like it are made possible by members of my Patreon, where you can see Game WIPs and Previews of future blogposts a week early! Thank you in particular to Bailey Gillier for your continued support!

The Summer Of Slug 2025

 

You will listen to this man's jaunty jingle and you will like it.

Howdy, Farmhands!

     The youtube algorithm is a fickle creature. It prioritizes hate clicks and clickbait to populate it's suggestions, choosing the worst of the worst content to promote while other, calmer content gets filtered to the bottom of it's reccomendations list. But sometimes, only sometimes, it chooses to present something magical to you. Three years ago, I was offered a video on a topic I'm actually interested in; the upcoming retirement of a specific color in the palette of LEGO bricks. What I thought I was about to watch was an angry rant detailing the bare minimum details about a corporate decision that would barely effect me and mine. What I found was a measured, talented voice that made me care as much as he did. What I found was R. R. Slugger.

    R. R. Slugger is a man of many talents. While his focus is always on the LEGO bricks he's discussing, it is immediately apparent that he has spent time on other artistic hobbies, as his videos are full of bespoke music tracks, high quality photography, and even extended stop motion animation. His scripts are clear and concise, belying a history with writing (possibly in academic circles?) and anyone who can and will spend time discussing the full legal name and serial number of any given LEGO piece in a set deserves a gold star for doing their research. This is a man who has learned and improved many talents over time, and chooses to use those strengths to improve the quality of his creative output. His videos are at once visually and audibly entertaining, while remaining downright educational for their content. I'm not exaggerating when I say that more hobby content on youtube should take a page from this guy's book. 

    Almost more important than his quality of video production, though, is his genuine joy when speaking about the subject matter he's chosen. Slugger loves LEGO. Slugger loves talking about LEGO. Slugger loves that he loves LEGO. He has no delusions that he's not a silly little man talking about a children's toy on the internet, but he seems to find genuine joy in his enjoyment. That joy is infectious. Listen to this duo of  youtubers, one seeing his channel for the first time, shift from amusement to genuine interest the longer they watch Slugger's video on a singular LEGO Mould from 2002. Neither of them have any skin in the game, but his sincerity and thorough discussion audibly convert them into believers within 10 minutes. Vintage LEGO collectors who keep up with the man can pinpoint moments in time where a video of his discussing a previously less than adored LEGO set leads to an uptick in sales of that set, to the point where his fans joke about collecting other unsung LEGO themes before he gets around to covering them, if only for the sake of their wallet.

    But just as Slugger has combined his background in photography and music into producing the best LEGO videos he can, he's also not afraid to branch out from LEGO. Alongside his main channel, which retains it's focus on bricks, he's also started a pair of sister channels, Slugscape and Sluggin' Around. The first takes his existing video formula and applies it to another of his loves, Heroscape, while the second is a catch all for video blogging about topics that don't apply to either of the previous two channels. For a main channel video, he composed a cover of a niche television show intro that never saw an official instrumental or sheet music release, which he then turned into a 10 minute discussion on music theory for his Sluggin' Around channel. 

    At this point in the blog, I'm sure you're wondering if I'm here simply to gush over this one youtuber who makes LEGO videos. And the answer is yes, but also no. Slugger's work is impressive, and anyone with even a passing fancy for LEGO bricks should give his stuff a shot, but on more broadly, I think Slugger is a shining example of something we're lacking in today's online spaces. This is a man who knows his creative strengths, and has applied them to the act of creation for the sole purpose of sharing something he genuinely loves with the world. Without irony, without exaggeration, and without cynicism, his videos present something he adores, thoroughly explains what he likes about it, and offers his audience a chance to fall in love with it too. His coverage of a product for sale by a corporate entity is never meant to convince you to buy, nor does he choose his topics for their profitability; he simply has an appreciation that he refuses to contain. That, above anything else, is admirable and something we all should aspire to. This blog is simply me putting my money where my mouth is. I love R.R. Slugger's work. I love his music, I love his videos, I love his LEGO builds, and I love his Joy. 

    At the time of posting, the 3rd Annual "Summer of Slug" event has begun; a two-month-long stretch where Slugger takes a break from his dayjob in education to focus solely on video production. To offset costs, he's opened his Patreon, which funds the event and also offers the perk of access to his behind the scenes discord server, which is poppin' all year round. Even if you are uninterested in monetarily supporting him this year, the Summer of Slug is the best time to start watching his videos, as the nichest of content and oddest of topics get covered during this time. Please check his work out, and tell him Farmer Gadda sent you.

     Until Next Time, 

            Farmer Gadda 

Does Setting Matter?

    

oh ok, post over then.

Howdy, Farmhands!

    For those of you who are fortunate enough to have avoided my ramblings on social media, may God continue to bless you and yours with sweet ignorance. Today's blogpost will have to temporarily expose you to TTRPG Discourse of the Bluesky variety, I'm afraid. I know, I know, you presumably choose to read blogs to avoid using such distasteful websites. There's still time to click off and go read something else. This preamble is mostly dragging out time for you to make your escape.

    Not terribly long ago, an individual made a series of Skeets (yes, we call them Skeets) about their experience bouncing off of some OSR products. Assuming you're not reading this in some far off future where said service has completely gone dark (which could be as soon as June, the way online services work in the year of our Lord, 2025) here's a link to said thread. This isn't a sub-post in the slightest, by the way, ACoupleOfDrakes is completely within their right to 1. Dislike a product, trend, or genre and 2. Skeet About It As They Will. The sentiment simply became a hot topic for all of five minutes among people term searching the phrase "OSR," and as such, many of us felt the need to post our Opinions. Naturally, I chimed in so I could feel like a special little boy for an hour. 

    To DRASTICALLY paraphrase ACoupleOfDrakes' words to quickly establish What my opinions are in reaction to, here's the key statements that caught my attention.

    One of the things that keeps me from becoming an OSR guy is how few of the worlds presented seem like a place I'd like to spend time exploring. There are notable exceptions....(source)

...I think the thing that makes me most interested in an OSR setting is its ratio of wonder to believability....(source)

...There are a lot of gonzo for the sake of gonzo settings that lose me because I can't imagine what you're supposed to /do/ there.... (source)

...Trying to put into words what divides the things that I like versus the things that I don't in the OSR space and only coming up with a Calvin and Hobbes meme about "OSR that's Maps" and "OSR that's Questions." (source)

1. No.

    I don't personally believe OSR as a genre needs a ton of cohesive settings, nor that picking out a pre-made setting guide is a necessary step in having an OSR-y experience. There's just something about a self-aware DIY elfgame that's charming all on it's own, y'know? You get your combat rules and your equipment lists and that's kind of all the System needs to do. Half the point of an Old School Game is coming up with your own bespoke fantasy land cobbled together from whatever interests you and your table.  You probably have an idea of Where you want to adventure anyway, and you'll purposefully pick modules and beasties that fit that vague impression you have in your mind. The turn to emergent settings being made during play that you see frequently these days (Questions instead of Maps) makes a lot of sense. 

    Sure, theres people wanting their Greyhawks and their Spelljammers and whatnot, but a large swathe of OSR systems are either compatible with those older works out the gate or stupid easy to convert.  Any setting with a travel system worth a damn is basically already an unofficial osr setting, as far as I'm concerned. Get Neverland by Andrew Kolb. I don't care that it's statted for 5e. You can do basic math conversions probably. Make everything a Bear.

2. But Actually, Yes.

    And I'm going to immediately go back on what I Just Said. Remember those charming, self-aware DIY elfgames? A large chunk of "The Setting" is found in what exactly the author puts in the basic rules and equipment lists. If a system features Swords and Spears, the implication inherent in the text is that your game will take place in a world where such weapons are reasonable to have around. Imagine one includes Laser Pistols and Bags of Doritos in the list of gear to buy at character creation - Suddenly, your gaming experience is distinct from most others. This comparison is a little exaggerated for effect, but you get what I mean, right? A system with simple access to Magic Spells implies a different world to one with none at all. The choice to include or exclude options is as much a world-building exercise as it is an editorial one. In this manner, there isn't a single OSR game out there that is truly without it's own Setting, even if the Author never names it. You can blur your eyes and come up with some Proper Nouns for Places that would have that shit in it. You're a smart cookie.

3. -Well, Now That I Think Of It, Only Maybe?

    What I think individuals are ACTUALLY looking for when they go shopping for the perfect setting is a sense of verisimilitude, a through-line of tone from which their idealized fantasy can be extrapolated. In a previous post, I discussed a series of Pamphlets by Seba G.M., which use a Tri-fold to succinctly offer guidelines and mechanics for running Forgotten Realms and Ravenloft using the Knave system. These are purposefully mere snippets of the full setting guides one can find for these worlds, but in their brevity, I still find the flavor I'm looking for to run a game within them. The mechanics they add or change are adjusted so as to create a feeling at the table, instead of just giving you a list of locations and names to memorize. I could look at one of the many grimdark fantasy settings released over the decades, only to find what I desire is closer to the free zine-size booklet version of Mork Borg. I could decide the exact reverse too! I don't need to invest in becoming a Greyhawk Scholar, but if my personal ideal of a Grimdark setting requires that deep an understanding, it might be to my taste.

    All of this is to say, I suppose, that one of my favorite elements of The OSR is the freedom to pick and choose what is necessary for Your Game. Not All games, not The game, just Your game.  

4. So, No. lol 

Until Next Time,

    - Farmer Gadda 

looking for a new OSR setting
ask exalted funeral if the setting is maps or questions
they laugh and say it's a good setting
buy the setting
it's maps

- Ty, Mindstorm Press (source)

Things on my Grocery List

 

Don't you Wanna go Apeshit?

    Howdy, Farmhands!

    Have you ever heard of "Free Will?"

Kludgebuckets - Customizable Vehicles for the Sanic Hack

You wish your ride was this cool - (Source)

kludge: something, especially computer hardware or software, that has been put together from whatever is available, especially when it does not work very well 

rustbucket: An old, neglected vehicle, usually a car, a freighter, or a truck. 

Ergo; They're called Kludgebuckets.

    "Kludgebucket" is the colloquial term for any non-standard watercraft cobbled together by an enterprising Islander. While capable of functioning as transportation, they act as more of a home-base for their crew, and are iterated upon over multiple voyages. It isn't surprising to see a Kludgebucket with multiple pieces of completely unrelated vehicles; land, air, or sea, stapled in varying configurations, with radio transmitters, gatling guns, and even multiple vending machines installed.

    Kludgebuckets are managed via a Grid System, similar to Mausritter Item Card Inventory Management. (For the purposes of this blog post, we are going to assume a specific size for these grids, but know that I'm writing this with no balance testing whatsoever. Let's say they're 4 by 4 to start and we'll revisit the specifics later.) To facilitate this, I will be introducing a new card type- Normally, cards come in 1 Slot or 2 Slot sizes, with the latter being for Bulky objects. For Kludgebucket Core Parts, new 2 by 2 cards are to be added, taking up the same space as 4 single slot cards. These cards are intended for overly large items; Chassis, Wings, A tree house uprooted WITH the tree, etc. While a character COULD carry one of these in their regular inventory,  they're intended to be Kludged onto their bucket. However, if a player wants to spend 4 whole inventory slots to equip the cab of a bus as a battering ram, I'm not going to stop them.

     Core Parts are labeled with Stars, ranging from 1 to 3. These Stars are an approximation of size and buoyancy, but are mostly there to estimate the number of crew it can safely keep afloat. 1 Star can hold 2 to 3 people before capsizing, doubling to 6-ish at 2 Stars and 12-or-so at 3 Stars. A Ski-doo, for example, would be a 1 Star Core Part, while a School Bus would be 3 Stars. Anything larger would arguably no longer be a Kludgebucket, but rather a regular sailing ship with some weird stuff tacked on. For every Star added by a Core Part, there must be Propulsion and Power of an equivalent Star. That Ski-doo's Whirly-gig Copter Blades (Propulsion, 1 Star) could be powered by a single set of Foot Paddles (Power,1 Star) for example, but you'd need at 3 times as many of both to move that 3 Star School Bus. Conversely, multiple parts of lower Star value could be used to power a single Propulsion part, as long as their values align. 

    Auxiliary parts, like radio transceivers, sonar or fuzzy dice, are regular sized item cards with the 1 x 2 Bulky cards used for valuable machinery. These are installed around the core parts, where the Kludgebucket's grid will allow. Any free space can hold any item, instead of having a dedicated hold.

    Core and Auxillary Parts are meant to be found as rewards for Quests or by scavenging wrecked Buckets found as you travel. Similar to Fits, a DM should only need to invent a handful of Thematic options based on the Island they've prepared, the players will pursue what interests them.

Star Rank	Core	Propulsion	Power
☆	Canoe	Paddle Wheel (Small)	Foot Paddles
☆	Jet Ski	Whirly-gig	Oars
☆	Motorcycle	Cloth Sail and a Fan	Large Hamster Wheel
☆☆	Smart Car	Airplane Wings	Steam Engine
☆☆	Tugboat	Single Turbin	Magnets
☆☆	Tree House (w/Tree)	Sea Creature (Tamed?)	Carrot on a String (For Sea Creature)
☆☆☆	Submarine	Rocket Jets	Gasoline Engine
☆☆☆	School Bus	Paddle Wheels (Large)	Coal Furnace
☆☆☆	Blimp Cab	Hot Air Baloon	Cola and Mentos