Howdy, Farmhands!
There's nothing quite like shopping in a TTRPG. Unburdened by the logistics of transporting goods or price fluctuations as the economy burns down around you, spending a session or downtime hitting the medieval fantasy mall is as much a power fantasy as casting a spell or punching a guy real good. Better bloggers than I have written at length about the mathematics and sociology of partaking in fictional capitalism, so I'm not even going to bother. Instead, I bring unto you a d20 table of details your players will notice when they approach the next merchant with wares to hock. Maybe the staff is unfriendly, and the goods on the shelf less than ideal, but goddamn if they won't remember their time spent here.
Until Next time,
Farmer Gadda
| 1 | Wacky-Wavy Inflatable Tube Man |
| 2 | Sign Spinner, paid minimum wage |
| 3 | Textboard Feud with the business across the street |
| 4 | Fursuit Mascot offering Pictures |
| 5 | Gigantic Bronze effigy of a Beaver |
| 6 | Partnering with Kid Scout Cookies |
| 7 | Bright neon signage, mistaken for the moon |
| 8 | A large Bell that is rung every hour on the hour |
| 9 | Novelty Windmill |
| 10 | A Roadside Billboard |
| 11 | A full Brass Band |
| 12 | They're firing T-shirt Cannons at Passersby |
| 13 | They've hired an Aircraft to fly around with a banner saying "Shop At x" |
| 14 | Blinking Neon Lights |
| 15 | "Now with Indoor Plumbing!" |
| 16 | It's Happy Hour |
| 17 | Brand new Car in the Display Window |
| 18 | Offering Free Pony Rides |
| 19 | Buy 1, Get 2 Golfballs |
| 20 | Contract with the Mafia. You better not shop anywhere else. |
This post and others like it are made possible by members of my Patreon, where you can see Game WIPs and Previews of future blogposts a week early! Thank you in particular to Bailey Gillier for your continued support!
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