A Radical Stash of 1d20 Mondo Cool Items for OSR - Party like it's 199X

You will never be Him. - Reddit

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Lava Sea Shoreline - A Vanilla Biome for the Nether Hexcrawl

 

Lets go to the beach, beach
(via Minecraft fandom wiki)

Howdy, Farmhands!

    Boy, it's been a while. I originally posted my procedure and proof of concept post in August of 2024, fully intent on that being My Thing for a good while. Other than finally finishing the data entry (but not the artwork, oops) for the Nether Fish Mod adaptation to go with it, I haven't publicly shared any further development. I am here to tell you that I haven't -exactly- been doing nothing.

    What I realized almost immediately, was that I couldn't piecemeal a full project together without the earliest posts looking like nonsense until I finished the other posts to link to. Further down this post, you'll see entries for Nether Bastion and Lava Java adventure sites... but I haven't written those yet. And before I can write those, I should have an idea of what stats the Piglins use and what loot I'm going to adapt. But my focus ought to be on the biomes themselves, which means I need to list out the resources available in them and... You see where I'm going with this. The scope keeps creeping, and if I'm going to follow through on my self-assigned goal of writing 52 blogposts in 2025, preferably spaced out to be weekly, I can't spend all my time writing posts that won't be DONE until they are wetly plopped onto the kitchen table as one cohesive Thing. So here's what I'm going to do.

    In hindsight, this post will seem rather silly, but if you're reading this within a couple weeks of posting, you're going to see a number of entries highlighted in this Red Color. This means that there -will- be a link there. Eventually. Instead of waiting for that fated day when this fan project is "done", I'm just going to start throwing them out whenever I reach the end of one, and hope that enough of it is gameable to not be a waste of your time.

    I need to stop doing stuff like this to myself.

    Until next time,

        Farmer Gadda

Twist Table - FARMER THEMED!

 

corn.
- by Okh7art via Pixabay

This post and others like it are made possible by members of my Patreon, where you can see Game WIPs and Previews of future blogposts a week early! Thank you in particular to Blastflight for your continued support!

 Howdy, Farmhands!

    Tik-tok is dead, and I do not mourn it's passing. The shambling corpse that's come back online since is naught but a new limb of fascism as it spreads and strangles all in it's path. I wouldn't trust it with a houseplant. However, that isn't to say I still don't regret what it brought me, specifically, many funny edited moments of Actual Play Twitch Streams I'd never watch otherwise. My personal favorite would be Legends of Avantris, which makes use of it's streaming medium fairly well by incorporating Bit Donations as a trigger for a table of HILARIOUS scenarios and prompts for the players at the table to then seamlessly incorporate into the adventure at hand.

    It's mostly an excuse to make clippable moments for the Tiktok/Youtube Shorts crowd and I can't say it's not an effective marketing tool.

    Below are d100 prompts for hilariously FARM themed shenanigans, be they sudden foodstuffs, weapons, or NPCs to drop into your playspace. Tell your players not to think about it too hard.

    Until Next Time,

        Farmer Gadda

1d10	Subsequent Table
1	"You are overcome with a sudden bout of-"
2	You are possessed with the Irresistible Urge to-"
3	"You firmly believe you are-"
4	"You are given a-" (Heals 1d4 HP)
5	"You are offered a-" (Heals 1d6 HP)
6	"You are served a-" (Heals 1d8 HP)
7	"You are gifted-" (One Use)
8	"You are rewarded-" (1d4 Dmg)
9	"You are armed with-" (1d6 Dmg)
10	"You are interrupted by-"

 

"You are overcome with a sudden bout of-"

 

1d10	Result
1	Hay Fever. You sneeze Uncontrollably
2	Eepy Deepy Disease. You are just so, so tired.
3	Chicken Pecks. You are incredibly itchy.
4	Horse Throat. You can only communicate by Neighing.
5	Goat Herd-ache. Maybe slamming your head against things will make you feel better?
6	Sheepish-ness. You suddenly have an intense paranoia of Wolves being nearby
7	Sweating like a Pig. It's just so hot, and you're so very sweaty.
8	Frog Legs. You can only move by Jumping.
9	Crop Circles. The bags under your eyes are out of this world!
10	Pussyfoot. The floor just feels uncomfortable, so you tip-toe everywhere.

 

"You are possessed with the Irresistible Urge to-"

 

1d10	Result
1	Boogie, night and day
2	Raise a Barn
3	Open a Vegetable Stand
4	Fly South for the Winter
5	Plant yourself and grow into a Tree
6	Become a Lumberjack
7	Hogtie a Bull
8	Get into Artisanal Cheese-making
9	Organize a Toolshed
10	Buy a Used Truck

 

"You firmly believe you are-"

 

1d10	Result
1	A Sheepdog. All creatures MUST be corralled into an enclosure.
2	A Thanksgiving Turkey, and everyone around you looks awfully hungry
3	An Ol' Timey Prospector who's just struck gold
4	A Little Old Lady, who's swallowed a fly. You don't know why, but surely a series of increasingly larger objects would help.
5	A humble Country Lawyer trying to do the best you can against this brilliant prosecutor from the big city. Your client (The party) is definitely guilty.
6	A massive Kaiju, transmogrified into the body of a chicken. You have unending primal rage, but can only do Chicken Things.
7	Running for Mayor of this here fine country town.
8	A Dog playing Poker. You've just pulled the winning hand, but can't let anyone else know.
9	A Horse Girl, attempting to understand the wild Stallion that cannot be tamed
10	A Contestant in the County Fair's Pie Competition, and you'll eat your hat of Annie-May beats you again this year.

 

"You are given a-" (Heals 1d4 HP)

 

1d10	Result
1	Tall, Cold Glass of Lemonade
2	Tall, Cold Glass of Ice tea
3	Tall, Cold Glass of Kool-Aid
4	Tall, Cold Glass of Hose Water
5	Tall, Cold Glass of Sausage Gravy
6	Michael's Hard Lemonade
7	Stick of Butter
8	Side of Corn Fritters
9	Side of Coleslaw
10	Side of Fried Okra

 

"You are offered a-" (Heals 1d6 HP) 

1d10	Result
1	Bowl of Jello Salad
2	Jar of Homemade Pickles
3	Jar of Pickled Beets
4	Bowl of Collard Greens
5	Bowl of Chicken and Dumplings
6	Bowl of Baked Beans
7	Bowl of Potato Salad
8	Side of Fried Green Tomatoes
9	Bowl of Chicken and Sausage Gumbo
10	Bowl of Mac n Cheese

 

"You are served a-" (Heals 1d8 HP)

 

1d10	Result
1	Plate of Fried Potato Skins
2	A Whole Baked Potato
3	Plate of Fried Catfish
4	Plate of Biscuits and Gravy
5	Pulled Pork Sandwich
6	Plate of Chicken n' Waffles
7	One Whole Chicken Pot Pie
8	An Entire Corn Casserole
9	Plate of Fried Chicken
10	Plate of Fried Gator

 

"You are gifted-" (One Use)

 

1d10	Result
1	A large metal barrel labeled "Guaranteed to Contain Nothing but the Pure, Sweet Fat of the Hog"
2	A Bag of Magic Beans
3	A very Distracting Cowbell
4	A Tin of Chewin' Tabaccy
5	A Patriotic Firework and 1 Lit Match
6	A Whoopee Cushion, inflated and ready for action
7	A human-sized, potted Venus Flytrap. It only Sort of Likes you
8	A 100 lb Burlap Sack of Wheat Flour
9	A Can of Beans.  You have no Can Opener.
10	A Comically large Wheel of Cheese, barreling towards you at top speed.

 

"You are rewarded-" (1d4 Dmg)

 

1d10	Result
1	A Rake. You learn this by stepping on it.
2	A Ballpoint Hammer.
3	A pair of Shears
4	A pair of Trowels.
5	A Watering Can, half full.
6	An empty Ceramic Plant Pot
7	A length of Water Hose.
8	A large Bucket.
9	A carton of 1 dozen eggs.
10	A bundle on a stick.

 

"You are armed with-" (1d6 Dmg)

 

1d10	Result
1	A Shovel. No, you can't bounce off it.
2	A Wood Axe. If you do, it will not answer.
3	A Pitchfork. You're a torch away from starting a Peasant Mob.
4	A Farming Hoe. The hand tool not... not the other thing.
5	A Hand Saw. It warbles when you shake it.
6	Hedge Trimmers. Everything is looking pretty Hedge-shaped.
7	A Hand Scythe. You begin to have concerns about the Capitalist system.
8	A Wooden Barrel. There are no Monkeys inside, sorry.
9	A Swarming Beehive
10	A sack of Russet Potatoes

 

"You are interrupted by-" 

1d10	Result
1	A Burrowing pack of Moles from Albuquerque
2	3 Wolves (at night)
3	30-50 Feral Hogs
4	The Cows (Coming Home)
5	A Goat, unnaturally hungry for Fabric.
6	A Chicken, Crossing the Road
7	Your Absent Father, carrying two Gallons of Milk
8	The Hatfield Family, in a shootout with the McCoys
9	A flock of Turkeys. They loudly gobble over whatever you say.
10	A Covered Wagon, headed for Oregon

The SANIC Hack: Part 7 - Auras and Aura Shards

 

I learned TODAY that the Japanese releases call these "Barriers"
which is a much better descriptor than "Shields" but what ya gonna do?
- Sonic Adventure 2: Battle (GCN, 2001)

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This post and others like it are made possible by members of my Patreon, where you can see Game WIPs and Previews of future blogposts a week early! Thank you in particular to _NetNomad for your continued support!

Howdy, Farmhands!

    It's been a long damn time since I posted anything with this title. While April through May 2024 was a very productive period of time for me, for the Sanic Hack specifically, my energy for it quickly waned as the scope crept bigger and bigger. It's a mish-mash of ideas for mechanics that fit, in theory, with the vague concept of an adventure game I've kept in my head. The unfortunate reality is, time needs to be spent actually trying to make it all work together at an actual table, which is mostly where I've been.

    I once, briefly, shared a Play Report for a session of an even earlier draft of what is currently The Sanic Hack, known then as "Daring & Dreaming." The hiatus for that table ended last May (conveniently after I posted the last major Sanic Hack blog), and my game design attentions shifted towards problem solving for a specific group of 2 to 3 individuals. How did my plans survive the field of battle? Well... 

    Without giving a full play report of  9 months worth of games, though those may still be coming, a number of assumptions I had about the game I was writing were tested and found wanting. Some subsystems worked fine! Others were fiddled with on the fly. The tl;dr of the whole thing is NO, Sanic Hack isn't going away, but YES, I've had a shift in focus and intent with the project. The Weapons Post in particular is going to be gutted. Ce la vie.

    Anyway, here's some temporary Shield type things to prevent specific kinds of damage.

Until Next Time,

    Farmer Gadda

 Aura Shards 

You can literally get these off Ebay for 180 bucks, this is a real product bandai made what the fuck
- Pokemon Evolution Stones Candy Set, Bandai (2017)

    Crystalized chunks of pure energy that can form in areas of heightened emotional chaos and intense geological pressure. They take on the color of the elemental energy they contain, with a symbol flickering inside. While these objects are uncommon, they can still be bought from Merchants for about the cost of mid-tier Armor. A method to artificially create these shards has been developed, but the technology is currently prohibitively resource intense. 

    Any individual who shatters a shard gains the benefits of the energy held inside, after which the pieces of crystal become inert. Only 1 Aura may be active at any time for a user; gaining the energy of another shard dispels the energy of the previous. Aura Shards of the same type stack up to 3 per slot.

Auras

    A field of energy that emanates from a single individual. Auras are attuned to the specific user, moving wherever they do and encompassing their body entirely. Specific elemental affinities create Auras with unique properties, which can be used to interact with the Users' surroundings in creative ways.

Common Auras' interactions are classified into 4 types-

• Passive- An ability that requires no intent of the User. Conversely, these interactions happen despite the Users' intentions, potentially having adverse effects.
• Active - Requires a conscious action by the User. As long as the Aura is active, this action may be repeated.
• Spend - Requires a conscious action by the User. The Aura is immediately Dispelled as a cost of making this action.
• Dispel - An interaction that will deactivate the Aura. Some Auras have multiple interactions that would dispel them, though most can be deactivated at will by the User.

Force Aura	A transparent orb of energy surrounds the user, giving a blue tint to everything seen through it. Objects cannot permeate the orb from either direction, but a good wallop will make it break.
	Passive	Active	Spend
	Negates all Damage once, is then Dispelled.	N/A	N/A
Dispel The User may Dispel this Aura at will.

Bubble Aura	A pocket of air within a viscous membrane forms around the User. It bends against objects that strike it, pushing back with equal force.
	Passive	Active	Spend
	Deflects any ranged attacks back at it's point of origin. Provides clean air for the User to breathe.	Dive - As an Action, the user may make a quick descent through air or water, bouncing safely once they hit the bottom.	Bubble Burst - Separate from their Action, the user may pop their bubble, dealing 1d6 Blast damage to any targets in Close range
Dispel The bubble can be popped by sharp or spiked weapons or terrain.

Flame Aura	Smokeless flames lick the air around the User. Objects may pass through, though any external sources of heat or fire are simply absorbed into the aura.
	Passive	Active	Spend
	The User is immune to damage related to Fire, Heat, or Lava. Flammable/Frozen objects that make contact with the Aura may ignite/melt	Dash - As an Action, the user may launch themselves forwards in a straight line, up to their standard movement speed. Targets within Close range of this path take 1d4 damage.	Flame Shot - As an Action, the user may cast this aura as a ranged attack at a single target for 1d8 damage.
Dispel The flames dissipate when making contact with Water.

Static Aura	Lightning arcs across an invisible field in a perfect orb around the user. When objects make contact, ripples of light emanate from the point of contact before fading.
	Passive	Active	Spend
	Attracts Magnetic objects, which latch on to hover within the Aura's orbit and cannot easily be removed.	Double Jump - As an Action, the user may ascend vertically up to twice their standard movement speed.	Rubble Burst - As an Action, the user may force objects latched onto the Aura as a ranged attack, dealing 1dX (X=# of Objects) Blast damage to any targets in Close Range.
Dispel Contact with water disperses the energy to any targets also in contact, including the user, dealing 1d4 damage.

Rush Aura	A haze of shimmering light surrounds the User, vibrating at a high speed. Vision through the barrier is unfocused.
	Passive	Active	Spend
	Standard Movement is Doubled	N/A	N/A
Dispel The effect ends if the User takes any Damage.

Spectral Aura	A cacophony of shimmering star-like motes of light swarm the User. Regardless of the properties of an offending source of damage, the User remains unaffected.
	Passive	Active	Spend
	Negates all damage taken.	N/A	Star Flash - As an Action, the user produces a bright light that floods the room, blinding any target looking at them.
Dispel This Aura can be Dispelled at will; once Dispelled, the User accrues Fatigue equal to number of Turns taken with the Aura Active.

d50 Fantasy Crop Table

 

Also known as "thank god these bitches are horny for fresh produce"
Don't actually watch this, please.

This post and others like it are made possible by members of my Patreon, where you can see Game WIPs and Previews of future blogposts a week early! Thank you in particular to WonderWalleye for your continued support!

Howdy, Farmhands!

    I'm a big fan of the Isekai genre, warts and all. For both the Protagonist, and the Audience, it's a chance to bumble upon facets of a world that's wild and new, while said facet is already comfortably set in it's place in the world. A good Isekai considers the ramifications of it's fantastic differences between itself and what we consider "normal", and an even BETTER Isekai takes those ramifications and makes them interesting problems for the hero to solve. There's not a lot of Good Isekai, to be clear.

    This comparison, the fantastical and the mundane, is something that can be deployed on your ttrpg players too! If you give them an Apple, they'll toss it in their pack as a ration. Give them an Apple that Tastes like a Hamburger, suddenly it's a memorable quirk of the campaign. It's a puzzle without actually being a puzzle - What could be done with this thing that's so familiar and yet so different? Enterprising parties will get creative, which might derail the game for a Fruit-based WcDonalds chain OR just convince them to finally engage with the cooking rules you've been pushing.

    Additional Reading -

• GrinningRat's "Dungeon Food"
• Prismatic Wasteland's "Cooking Minigame" 
• Throne of Salt's "Unified Food Theory"  
  

    Until Next Time,

        Farmer Gadda

d50	This looks like...	-except it's...	-and it's served...
1	Cantaloupe	Grows as large as a house	Fried in Butter
2	Apple	an Odd color (1d4: Red, Yellow, Orange, Pink)	Basted and Grilled
3	Pear	an Odd color (1d4: Blue, Purple, Green, Teal)	Baked as a Casserole
4	Peach	Covered in Fuzz	Baked as a Pie
5	Yam	Covered in wood-like Bark	Boiled Whole
6	Pineapple	Covered in a Stone-like Shell	Roasted with Meat
7	Kiwi	Oblong Shaped	atop Pasta
8	Lemon	Cube Shaped	Breaded and Fried in Oil
9	Cucumber	Grows tiny as a berry	Boiled and Mashed
10	Butternut Squash	Odd Markings (1d4: Striped, Spotted, Mottled, Iridescent)	Stuffed and Baked
11	Carrot	Odd Markings (1d4: Spikes, Pockmarks, Lumps, Cracks)	Chilled
12	Cauliflower	Triangle Shaped	in a Smoothie
13	Parsnip	Covered in Pollen	as a Garnish for Drinks
14	Corn	got a Dry Texture	Mixed with sugar and water as a popular Summer Drink
15	Tomato	got a Juicy Texture	as Popsicles
16	Artichoke	Gourd Shaped	as Barbeque
17	Radish	got a Crisp flavor	in a Stew
18	Rhubarb	Got a Minty flavor	as Stock for Soup
19	Garlic	got a Creamy Texture	mixed with Crushed Ice
20	Potato	Got a Chewy Texture	Frozen into sheets of Bark
21	Rice	got a Sweet flavor	Sliced and on Sandwiches
22	Wheat	got a Smoky flavor	as is, just bite into it!
23	Barley	Got a Tangy flavor	Cubed and paired with Cheese
24	Pumpkin	got a Sour flavor	Grated as a Seasoning
25	Tea Leaves	got a Bitter flavor	in Aged Cheeses
26	Cherry	tastes just like (roll again on Previous Column)	Julienne'd
27	Avocado	got a Gelatinous texture	Chopped into Sticks and dipped in sauce
28	Apricot	got a Meaty texture	Thickened into a Condiment
29	Banana	got a Crunchy texture	Covered in Cheese and Broiled
30	Beet	got a Soft texture	Pickled, sometimes as a relish
31	Strawberry	Root-Legged (Attempts to run away when Harvested)	Canned in Sweet Syrup
32	Blueberry	Camouflaged (Blends in with it's natural surroundings)	Dried into Jerky
33	Cranberry	Shrieking (Harvesting it causes an ear-splitting noise to erupt)	Smoked over a Fire
34	Blackberry	Poisonous (Improper handling will make you sick)	Frozen and cut into Cubes
35	Grape	Cursed (Spiritual energy latches onto improper harvesters, sapping their strength)	Heavily Salted
36	Watermelon	Singing (Emulates a gentle song)	Sundried into Crisps
37	Mango	Violent (Includes teeth or claws and will fight back)	Fermented into Alcohol
38	Orange	Domesticated (Mimics the behaviors and mannerisms of a Pet Cat)	as a Jelly
39	Plum	Mocking (Repeats noises it's heard)	as a Jam
40	Coffee Bean	Flying (Delayed harvesting results in the crop flying south for the winter)	ground into a Flour
41	Tulip	Only Grows in the light of a Full Moon	as an Extract
42	Sunflower	Only Grows within Deep Caves	Boiled into a Paste
43	Rose	Grows submerged in Water	Thrice Baked into dense Cubes
44	Daffodil	Grows on a Trellis	Stretched like Taffy
45	Dandelion	Grows buried in the Ground	Whipped like Cream
46	Ginger	Grows on the branches of a Tree	Mashed into a Sauce
47	Coconut	Grows on a tall Stalk	Pressed to extract it's Juice
48	Mushroom	Grows in spreading Vines	Crushed into a Powder
49	Jalapeno	Grows around Decay and Rot4	Chopped into a Salad
50	Leek	Only Grows on a Leyline	Used as a Garnish