Sporpsball

A Child Playing Sportsball, Probably. Idk I'm not his mom. - Pixabay

Howdy, Farmhands.

    Early 2021 was probably the most productive time for me as a Game Designer. Everything was new and shiny, and I hadn't yet learned what Not To Do in the spaces I was discovering for people interested in my newfound hobby. This meant that I was willing and able to yeet myself bodily into whatever struck my fancy, without the lived experience to understand the possibility of sending myself off a cliff.

    It was during this time period that I came up with the rules for Sporpsball.

    Heavily inspired by a moment in the og Interstitial: Our Hearts Entertwined Podcast campaign wherein a player used the fuckery that is the English Language to re-interpret the wording of a PBTA Move, I wanted a system agnostic experience where fucking with the language in the rules was The Point, and the following is what I came up with.

    SPORPSBALL, a Supplement for Whatever Game You're Playing. Yes, even That One.

1.  Every person at the table gets to write down a single sentence describing what they remember of an existing Sports game. The GM has to include a specific way to score in theirs. These sentences are collectively referred to as "The Rules."
   
   
2. A game of Sporpsball includes a number of additional participants on the field equal to the number of Player Characters participating in the Sport. If it's a team game, they're on the Other Team. There is also always a Large Audience cheering them teams on.
   
   
3. Unless explicitly prohibited by The Rules of Sporpsball, any stats, skills, feats, or other game mechanics the Player Characters normally have access to may be used to attempt to win the game.
   
   
4. Whenever a Player rolls the highest possible face value of a die, no matter what the roll was for in mechanics or fiction, they may adjust one of The Rules in one of the ways listed below. These adjustments must not result in a Rule being an incomplete sentence.
   
   • Replace 1 Letter of a word in the Rule
   • Add a word to the Rule
   • Swap the placement of two words within the Rule
   • Invert one word to a word of it's Opposite meaning
     
     
5. Should any one of The Rules ever have every word in it's sentence changed completely from it's initial form, that rule is sealed and cannot be altered further. The Player who created the rule must then create an additional rule.
   
   
6. Any Character who breaks one the rules, willingly or not, recieves a Foul. 3 Fouls, and they're ejected from the game.
   
   
7. At no point should ANY rule imply, infer, or otherwise suggest the inclusion or exclusion of a dog. There shall never be any rule that determines whether or not a Dog should be allowed to play Sporpsball. Attempting to do so will result in immediate forfeiture of the Sporp by the offending Player or Team.

Until Next Time,

        Farmer Gadda