A Radical Stash of 1d20 Mondo Cool Items for OSR - Party like it's 199X

You will never be Him. - Reddit

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Lava Sea Shoreline - A Vanilla Biome for the Nether Hexcrawl

 

Lets go to the beach, beach
(via Minecraft fandom wiki)

Howdy, Farmhands!

    Boy, it's been a while. I originally posted my procedure and proof of concept post in August of 2024, fully intent on that being My Thing for a good while. Other than finally finishing the data entry (but not the artwork, oops) for the Nether Fish Mod adaptation to go with it, I haven't publicly shared any further development. I am here to tell you that I haven't -exactly- been doing nothing.

    What I realized almost immediately, was that I couldn't piecemeal a full project together without the earliest posts looking like nonsense until I finished the other posts to link to. Further down this post, you'll see entries for Nether Bastion and Lava Java adventure sites... but I haven't written those yet. And before I can write those, I should have an idea of what stats the Piglins use and what loot I'm going to adapt. But my focus ought to be on the biomes themselves, which means I need to list out the resources available in them and... You see where I'm going with this. The scope keeps creeping, and if I'm going to follow through on my self-assigned goal of writing 52 blogposts in 2025, preferably spaced out to be weekly, I can't spend all my time writing posts that won't be DONE until they are wetly plopped onto the kitchen table as one cohesive Thing. So here's what I'm going to do.

    In hindsight, this post will seem rather silly, but if you're reading this within a couple weeks of posting, you're going to see a number of entries highlighted in this Red Color. This means that there -will- be a link there. Eventually. Instead of waiting for that fated day when this fan project is "done", I'm just going to start throwing them out whenever I reach the end of one, and hope that enough of it is gameable to not be a waste of your time.

    I need to stop doing stuff like this to myself.

    Until next time,

        Farmer Gadda

Twist Table - FARMER THEMED!

 

corn.
- by Okh7art via Pixabay

This post and others like it are made possible by members of my Patreon, where you can see Game WIPs and Previews of future blogposts a week early! Thank you in particular to Blastflight for your continued support!

 Howdy, Farmhands!

    Tik-tok is dead, and I do not mourn it's passing. The shambling corpse that's come back online since is naught but a new limb of fascism as it spreads and strangles all in it's path. I wouldn't trust it with a houseplant. However, that isn't to say I still don't regret what it brought me, specifically, many funny edited moments of Actual Play Twitch Streams I'd never watch otherwise. My personal favorite would be Legends of Avantris, which makes use of it's streaming medium fairly well by incorporating Bit Donations as a trigger for a table of HILARIOUS scenarios and prompts for the players at the table to then seamlessly incorporate into the adventure at hand.

    It's mostly an excuse to make clippable moments for the Tiktok/Youtube Shorts crowd and I can't say it's not an effective marketing tool.

    Below are d100 prompts for hilariously FARM themed shenanigans, be they sudden foodstuffs, weapons, or NPCs to drop into your playspace. Tell your players not to think about it too hard.

    Until Next Time,

        Farmer Gadda

1d10	Subsequent Table
1	"You are overcome with a sudden bout of-"
2	You are possessed with the Irresistible Urge to-"
3	"You firmly believe you are-"
4	"You are given a-" (Heals 1d4 HP)
5	"You are offered a-" (Heals 1d6 HP)
6	"You are served a-" (Heals 1d8 HP)
7	"You are gifted-" (One Use)
8	"You are rewarded-" (1d4 Dmg)
9	"You are armed with-" (1d6 Dmg)
10	"You are interrupted by-"

 

"You are overcome with a sudden bout of-"

 

1d10	Result
1	Hay Fever. You sneeze Uncontrollably
2	Eepy Deepy Disease. You are just so, so tired.
3	Chicken Pecks. You are incredibly itchy.
4	Horse Throat. You can only communicate by Neighing.
5	Goat Herd-ache. Maybe slamming your head against things will make you feel better?
6	Sheepish-ness. You suddenly have an intense paranoia of Wolves being nearby
7	Sweating like a Pig. It's just so hot, and you're so very sweaty.
8	Frog Legs. You can only move by Jumping.
9	Crop Circles. The bags under your eyes are out of this world!
10	Pussyfoot. The floor just feels uncomfortable, so you tip-toe everywhere.

 

"You are possessed with the Irresistible Urge to-"

 

1d10	Result
1	Boogie, night and day
2	Raise a Barn
3	Open a Vegetable Stand
4	Fly South for the Winter
5	Plant yourself and grow into a Tree
6	Become a Lumberjack
7	Hogtie a Bull
8	Get into Artisanal Cheese-making
9	Organize a Toolshed
10	Buy a Used Truck

 

"You firmly believe you are-"

 

1d10	Result
1	A Sheepdog. All creatures MUST be corralled into an enclosure.
2	A Thanksgiving Turkey, and everyone around you looks awfully hungry
3	An Ol' Timey Prospector who's just struck gold
4	A Little Old Lady, who's swallowed a fly. You don't know why, but surely a series of increasingly larger objects would help.
5	A humble Country Lawyer trying to do the best you can against this brilliant prosecutor from the big city. Your client (The party) is definitely guilty.
6	A massive Kaiju, transmogrified into the body of a chicken. You have unending primal rage, but can only do Chicken Things.
7	Running for Mayor of this here fine country town.
8	A Dog playing Poker. You've just pulled the winning hand, but can't let anyone else know.
9	A Horse Girl, attempting to understand the wild Stallion that cannot be tamed
10	A Contestant in the County Fair's Pie Competition, and you'll eat your hat of Annie-May beats you again this year.

 

"You are given a-" (Heals 1d4 HP)

 

1d10	Result
1	Tall, Cold Glass of Lemonade
2	Tall, Cold Glass of Ice tea
3	Tall, Cold Glass of Kool-Aid
4	Tall, Cold Glass of Hose Water
5	Tall, Cold Glass of Sausage Gravy
6	Michael's Hard Lemonade
7	Stick of Butter
8	Side of Corn Fritters
9	Side of Coleslaw
10	Side of Fried Okra

 

"You are offered a-" (Heals 1d6 HP) 

1d10	Result
1	Bowl of Jello Salad
2	Jar of Homemade Pickles
3	Jar of Pickled Beets
4	Bowl of Collard Greens
5	Bowl of Chicken and Dumplings
6	Bowl of Baked Beans
7	Bowl of Potato Salad
8	Side of Fried Green Tomatoes
9	Bowl of Chicken and Sausage Gumbo
10	Bowl of Mac n Cheese

 

"You are served a-" (Heals 1d8 HP)

 

1d10	Result
1	Plate of Fried Potato Skins
2	A Whole Baked Potato
3	Plate of Fried Catfish
4	Plate of Biscuits and Gravy
5	Pulled Pork Sandwich
6	Plate of Chicken n' Waffles
7	One Whole Chicken Pot Pie
8	An Entire Corn Casserole
9	Plate of Fried Chicken
10	Plate of Fried Gator

 

"You are gifted-" (One Use)

 

1d10	Result
1	A large metal barrel labeled "Guaranteed to Contain Nothing but the Pure, Sweet Fat of the Hog"
2	A Bag of Magic Beans
3	A very Distracting Cowbell
4	A Tin of Chewin' Tabaccy
5	A Patriotic Firework and 1 Lit Match
6	A Whoopee Cushion, inflated and ready for action
7	A human-sized, potted Venus Flytrap. It only Sort of Likes you
8	A 100 lb Burlap Sack of Wheat Flour
9	A Can of Beans.  You have no Can Opener.
10	A Comically large Wheel of Cheese, barreling towards you at top speed.

 

"You are rewarded-" (1d4 Dmg)

 

1d10	Result
1	A Rake. You learn this by stepping on it.
2	A Ballpoint Hammer.
3	A pair of Shears
4	A pair of Trowels.
5	A Watering Can, half full.
6	An empty Ceramic Plant Pot
7	A length of Water Hose.
8	A large Bucket.
9	A carton of 1 dozen eggs.
10	A bundle on a stick.

 

"You are armed with-" (1d6 Dmg)

 

1d10	Result
1	A Shovel. No, you can't bounce off it.
2	A Wood Axe. If you do, it will not answer.
3	A Pitchfork. You're a torch away from starting a Peasant Mob.
4	A Farming Hoe. The hand tool not... not the other thing.
5	A Hand Saw. It warbles when you shake it.
6	Hedge Trimmers. Everything is looking pretty Hedge-shaped.
7	A Hand Scythe. You begin to have concerns about the Capitalist system.
8	A Wooden Barrel. There are no Monkeys inside, sorry.
9	A Swarming Beehive
10	A sack of Russet Potatoes

 

"You are interrupted by-" 

1d10	Result
1	A Burrowing pack of Moles from Albuquerque
2	3 Wolves (at night)
3	30-50 Feral Hogs
4	The Cows (Coming Home)
5	A Goat, unnaturally hungry for Fabric.
6	A Chicken, Crossing the Road
7	Your Absent Father, carrying two Gallons of Milk
8	The Hatfield Family, in a shootout with the McCoys
9	A flock of Turkeys. They loudly gobble over whatever you say.
10	A Covered Wagon, headed for Oregon